Weird is the word. Or perhaps momentary. Well, I have never been good at describing moments perfectly. But this happened in a split second. And for years, I have been strangely aware of this thing happening, yet I have no reason. In fact, I remember reading something extremely similar, but I have no recollection of the same at the moment. I guess it was Wordsworth or Keats, who remarks in one of his poems that it is actually immediately aftre a really serene and happy moment, that we feel the loneliest and the saddest.
It happened today. I was happy and suddenly I felt everything tumble down. I have been fiercely debating with myself over the reason. But I still dont know. Maybe it is because I am exteremely impulsive, or excessively careless or completely oblivious.
I hurt a friend today. And I know I did. Unnecessarily. In a fit of stupidty. And it is horrid. I apologised. He said it was nothing. Maybe this was the reason. Or perhaps, I realised that I am nowhere near what I had dreamt myself to be. Or the expectations that I had. Maybe because I suddenly felt inadequate.
Maybe I am just sleep deprived. OR maybe its the natural correction of hormonal imbalance ( I tend to go overboard with all categories of emotions)...
Thinking too much is stupid. But, it is my natural occupation.
Drew without any reason
With charcoal
and red sketch pen
In a fit.
of i dont know what
3 comments:
eyes!!!!
i think u have already written one of the reasons why u drew this, in the post - Maybe because I suddenly felt inadequate.
I know!! Its weird, but your observation about the obsession is uncanny.
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