At four eleven in the morning, all I realise is, that after eleven attempts, I have just been succesful enough to reach the fifth round in the knockout tournament in NFS. Well, it does not mean that I suck at the game. It clearly means that am not focussing hard enough. Just half an hour ago, I had another bizarre tryst with some DVDs. I wanted to watch Wonder Years today. After combing piles and layers of crappy stuff for twenty frustrating minutes, I realise that the DVD is sitting quietly in the DVD carton. Now, the audio device on my pc refuses to respond, and am forced to listen to songs on my cellphone. Now, when a day dawns like this, what can I expect in the next 20 hours? Not a lot of giggles I suppose...
A lot of things these days are not making sense. Why do I have to sit for a paper each in Economics and History, when my Bachelor's is in Literature? Were S and I destined to become so close again? Am I just plain selfish to call her whenever I have something wonderful to share and refuse to divulge when something painful happens? Is it fair on my part to be her 'closest pal' and yet not be close? Have I really been fair to her, considering that I have ditched her numerous times in the past couple of years? And that we end up rebonding like nothing ever happened. I also fail to understand how she will pass her examination tomorrow, considering that we were chit-chatting about 'higher philosophies' till about an hour ago...
Now, the politics of relationships is another thing that really drives me up the wall. (actually I also wonder why my chain of thought refuses to follow a linked path) And this is just not about a hunky-dorey, boy girl relationship. It is about relationships in general. Why do I have to phrase and re-phrase tests so that they sound nice and subtle? Why is there so much of deliberate thought? Planned steps? Regular assessment and more importantly, critical judgement? Cannot things just be as they are-- impulse driven or emotion dictated? Why the need for 4/2 yields 2...
Another thing. Actually no. Nothing. I really fail to understand how a tired brain can crib in such lucid details. So, no more wonderings.
P.S: If :-) is a smiley, is :-( a saddie? (Could not resist asking this)
7 comments:
Sassy, don't think too much about a beautiful relationship you share with S - i wonder if she reads your blog.
And I really wish that relationships are purely emotion-driven. Today we have parameters to build a new relation. They have been pumped into our brain for no reason and not many people live by the heart. You and I do, let us be like that.. At least we are we.
Surprisingly, she read this particular post. And I got quite an ahem, ahem response. No qualms, just some views, a few hugs and loads of bonding. :-)
We always always be like this. Haven't you realised that? We question all mechanical and emotionally devoid philosophies. Look at your blog name- The Inquisitor and look at mine- Eternal Temptations. Both of us try and question, one literally and one (me) is eternally tempted to..Nutcases man, atleast to a lot of people.
:-( is actually a sad smiley.... quite a paradox but then u r the one who talks about paradoxes , so shouldnt be a shock to you. and the elusive CALL stil evades me, i wonder till when will this be the case.
How can I get my hands on Wonder Years?
@VB: The caller and not the call is elusive, ;-).
@Jerry: I downloaded the seasons through utorrent. The torrents on the other hand are available at isohunt.com. Otherwise, you might want to try Palika Bazaar.
Wonder Years is pretty charming.
NFS huh??? Thats one thing that caught my attention in this post. Even I was playing that yesterday... NFS Carbon... All races are fine.But one type of race I hate is drifting... No matter how hard I try I cant win. Koshishein phir bhi jaari hai
Post a Comment