Crossed Jerry in office today. He seemed visibly happier than his usual, silent self (don't know him much, but that's what I feel!). The conversation goes thus:
J: Hi!
SS: Hi! How are you
J: Good..How about you..
SS: OK..Heard you are going to INX?!
J: Yea...who told ya?
SS: Have a friend who is joining it too..heard there are a lot of people from HT too
J: oh..ok..yea..am going..probably a month more to go here
SS: That's why you seem s happy
J: I guess so...
End of the conversation
For a very long time after this I kept on remembering the initial euphoria I had felt on joining HT. Crossing Vir Sanghvi in the office...looking at Poonam Saxena..nalini..the very people whose stories I had read all my freaking life..I remember my second day in office. A senior colleague had told me that my Ed says that I bring bliss into the department. That my chirpiness brings ripples of spring into an otherwise staid department. A year and some months later, I dread going to that place everyday. Not because of its threatening walls and imposingly boring structure. But, because of the spirits that reside within. Colleagues, who I can barely call mine. People, who change faces at the distance of a cubicle. Over the past few days, the appearance of a new colleague has brought me tears unwarranted.
Irrespective of the fact that my Editor gave me everyday goddamn opportunity because I prove my competence for it, these certain guys (and girls included) have a problem. The only ground on which they find that they can pass sly comments (behind my back) is my educational background. The very fact that am still pursuing my undergraduate studies, while these guys are veteran journalists gives them an itch undefined. On top of the, it barely takes a sugared smile for them to ask for contacts and references and numbers for their stories..
So, for the past fortnight, every moment that I seem a little free, I have been the but of 'kiddie' jokes. The guy even went ahead to say that people should understand that there is a certain age for studies and a certain age for working. And one should not enter professional life, if there isn't quote unquote a problem. Really?
At times I just feel like going to my Ed and putting in my papers. But am I a loser? No. Am I someone who makes these people insanely jealous? I don't know. Am I a sleeping dragon, whom these guys are tickling? Yes..for sure....
3 comments:
Well I tried accessing the websire Tara gave you.. its blocked in my office. I don't why... Maybe I am too dumb or maybe I am blessed... out of all the organization I have joined not one has made me feel the way you feel.
Wanna come to Bahrain?? ;)
When I joined I was 18, I'm 21 now -- I faced and face a lot of it still. I guess one just moves along even when the torrents are against you.
hmm.. too bad i never made it down from my very happy 16th floor while I worked in that building.. Think i understand the thoughts behind that posts.. had it for a few months.. n quit just as i was gettin past that first longish flush of contentmenr:)
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