Eternal Temptations

2012-01-08T20:31:00.002+05:30

Kids make you realise more about life than the words of your elders ever can. Truly. Ever since I've held my little niece in my arms, there's so much more that I see in everyday life, and so much more that I think I should become more responsible about. And the flood of confusions comes back to engulf me once more.

If I haven't written here for ages, it's probably because I haven't spoken to myself in ages. Oh no, I have questioned myself aplenty in all these months that I haven't come here, but there's been no time, and honestly no guts to address my own self. I guess I've been too meek and too cushioned to figure out what I really want to do; or perhaps too dwarfed by all that's happening around.

Guess the start of the year is the start of another attempt. I wish to be successful this time around

2011-10-26T22:58:00.000+05:30

Words have begun to fail me. I wonder why

2011-04-14T02:31:00.004+05:30

When the urges get creative, the creative go blogging, or at least, that's what's happening to me, and am glad that it's so. Between yesterday and today, I've managed to clear a lot of clutter - mentally and physically - and dude, it does make me feel that I've cut down on a lot of my problems. Spring cleaning not just for the house, but also for the mind...

Anyway, work also begins now on my photography blog Eternal Revelations (http://photographerinquest.blogspot.com), where, thankfully, I can put pictures of people and things I like, without having to think of how perfectly lit my subjects were.

But of course, all this is not without reason, and for those who know me the bestest, like I've been telling you, the aspiration this time around is not just a whim. I know I'm meant to tell stories, and tell them my way. Along the way if Sassy Satan needs to don the garb of an entertainment journalist, so be it. If capturing the essence of Delhi in my camera is the first lesson that I must learn in order to understand my subject better, then so be it. If stories need to be created before stories are told, I've been tempted long ago to become part of this cult practice. I must say, it's taken me the longest while - 25 years of my life - to know that I'm headed towards the magic of the moving screen. And now that that's been decided, it's time to think of a title and let the work begin!

2011-04-13T02:14:00.003+05:30

The second role

I think I was far more romantic and dreamy four years ago, and I'm definitely jealous of that fact today. For almost two years now, I've been making sporadic attempts at being regular here and penning my thoughts, instead of looking for random friends who discard my emotional outpourings as flippant conversation. But, I've failed each time, rather miserably. But, the believer that I am, I saw so many 'signs' today that it was difficult not to make the attempt again, for the umpteenth time to forgo of old inhibitions and rewrite my role here. And the oddest names have come together for this - Rushdie, Neruda and Sassy Satan.

My day began with me going back to start Rushdie's Satanic Verses, a copy of which I finally managed to find in Hong Kong, and which is more precious than the most precious of things. By afternoon, I finished watching Il Postino,which reaffirmed my love for Neruda and all things that sprang forth from his pen. And by the time I came back to changing the look of Eternal Temptations so that it becomes the new face of the new Sassy, I saw Neruda on one of my lists on this blog, and also found one of my best older posts (http://saintinquest.blogspot.com/2007/04/eternal-temptations.html).

I am not going to look dreamily back at the past and wonder how easily words had rolled off my tongue at that time. How easily I had proposed to be a seller of indulgences! Along the way, I think, I've been robbed of most of the indulgences that I could give away, save what is most precious to me, in my heart. I know I want to come back, and I think I will. But now, the seller of indulgences has also become the teller of stories, and inshallah, that is where the new role will start.

2010-11-27T01:14:00.000+05:30

Twenty five is the new thiry five

2010-11-02T22:52:00.000+05:30

Career horoscope for the month. Is this as random as it gets, or does everyone face the same question after a year? I'll come back. Tonight.

What's your work worth? You may be spending a lot of time kicking that question around on the 1st and 2nd. Sure, financial compensation is important. But before you get too wrapped up in whether or not you're going to get that bonus, take a step back and think about other ways your work is worthwhile to you. Do you get emotional satisfaction? Do you feel like you're good at your job? Does your work add something to society? If not, maybe a job that doesn't pay as well but that does bring other kinds of satisfaction is worth considering. You feel fulfilled on the 7th and 8th, and that's wonderful. Balance your budget and your budget won't send you for a spin on the 9th. That remarkably healthy exercise routine pays off, with high-energy days on the 16th, 17th and 18th. Don't be satisfied with the superficial on the 23rd. It's time you figured this whole thing out. Travel for work, if you possibly can, on the 26th or 27th. Tell your friends what you've been thinking, job-wise, on the 30th. They can really weigh in on what your plans are worth.

2010-10-08T13:35:00.006+05:30

Anjaani Anjaani ki kahani

Movie: Anjaana Anjaani

Director: Siddharth Anand

Actors: Priyanka Chopra, Ranbir Kapoor

So, my first pre-release assessment of a movie hasn't been that accurate. From the promos on air, and considering the fresh casting in the movie, I'd deduced that Anjaana Anjaani would become another addition to the quintessential love stories in Hindi cinema, just like Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak. Sadly, I was disappointed on that front. Anjaana Anjaani for me is a mesmerising tale of cosmopolitan romance, urban humour, fashionable characters and good music that'll stay around for a while. What's missing - the intensity of romance, which I'd primarily say is a scripting lack. The story is straightforward and vividly portrayed. And Priyanka Chopra and Ranbir Kapoor have truly given memorable performances, perhaps by far their best. Sadly again, this isn't reciprocated in the script.

AA is the story of Kiara (Priyanka Chopra) and Aakash (Ranbir Kapoor), two defeated souls who meet on a bridge while trying to commit suicide. Catch 1: Does every Indian looking soul in the US necessarily speak Hindi? Anyway, so the two are unable to commit suicide, and part ways to end up in separate accidents which bring them to the same hospital. They decide to commit suicide together and having failed yet again deduce that they are supposed to live life once again. So, they set a deadline for the approaching New Year's eve and decide to do everything they wanted to before that and their impending suicide. Predictably, they fall in love during this time. While Aakash recognises this love, Kiara doesn't. It's this part of the movie that has the two actors at their emotional best.

The humour is good, not the uncouth types actually, and a few scenes actually remind you of SRK and Kajol's chemistry. In a particular scene, when Kiara wipes Aakash's face, you are almost reminded of the rain scene between Anjali and Rahul from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. There are a few inconsequential characters and the only other known face in the movie is Zayed Khan, who has done a decent role.

While the trailer misleads you into believing that AA is the stuff that Hindi love stories are made of, there's still something missing. It's a good tale told nonetheless and a good watch for the weekend. If nothing else, watch it for the Ranbir and Priyanka’s acting skills and the great wardrobe the two are sporting. Oh, and not to miss the cadillac in the movie.

2010-05-27T00:00:00.000+05:30

What do you guys think of this (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/bollywood/news-interviews/Im-like-a-gypsy-Ranbir/articleshow/5972589.cms)

2010-05-23T23:38:00.002+05:30

Heya. Another Sunday comes to an end without me cleaning my cupboard. Sigh. Convince myself on every Monday morning that it's not that big a deal. Anyway, today has been quite significant in a lot of ways. Spent the whole day chilling with mum, since bhai and shruts are outa the country. Feels nice to be back in mom's company... works snatches away many little pleasures of life from one.
Also saw Rocket Singh. The movie was quite slow actually, but Ranbir's acting was the saving grace. But, it's the couple of messages in the movie that I really likes. One - even Spiderman has to take a risk. How concise and cool is that!!! The other is about working hard and honestly. It's so surprising that many of us, even 'seniors' in hierarchies refuse to work ethically. Like always, am plagued with the existence of such folks around me, time and again. I dunno why it happens so frequently with me, or if I just have a painfully low threshold, but I can't seem to be able to tolerate insecure people. Be it personally of professionally, why can't people think about building their own capability, instead of feeling bad about someone else's work? The ways of the world are strange.
Nothing much to say now. Shall be back soon.

2010-05-09T23:47:00.002+05:30

Ok. I am back. Again. With the same sentence. But on the positive side, at least there's consitency in my comeback, if not the comeback itself!
Anyway, crappy jokes aside, life's busier than it was the last time that I posted something on this blog. But you know what? It's fuller than it was ever before too. Of course there are certain elements who still bother me, but the gross result is that I'm smiling at the end of each day, smiling, as the cliche goes, from ear to ear.
In the past five months, many a thing happened, when I thought I should come here and write something, put my frustrations and joy in words and be done away with. But, I guess those things weren't compelling enough. Then again, the simplest thing brought me here today. Actually, two simple things - one that I got free from office slightly earlier. And second, that I saw the most quintessentially romantic thing take place today, without realising how it would push me into a thinking mode that was possibly buried for the last so many months.
Was travelling in the metro today, when a girl hurriedly made her way inside. As the doors were just closing, her boyfriend quickly grabbed her and gave her a quick kiss. While all the people near her kept staring at her for the rest of the distance, I don't think that beyond the intial embarassment, it really mattered to the girl. She seemed so unaware of public glares because, possibly, it was the kiss and the bigger emotion behind it that mattered.
It got me into a very strange mood - about love and my constant longing to be in a love relationship. Not that I haven't had my share of some of them, but in retrospect, those all seem so empty - and so created purely because of infatuation or strong emotion. But you know, there was this kind of pure, love relationship that I always envisioned myself in. Of course, it was full of corny and cheesy stuff, but, it also had the elements of ever lasting romance - the kind of stuff that makes you tickle even when you are 60.
Anyway, don't think that that sort of love is meeting me anytime soon. But when it does, I'll be back here. Again.

2010-01-05T00:06:00.003+05:30

People are getting addicted to Twitter and I am getting re-addicted to this blog :) After ideating, reporting, writing and ideating again at the workplace, it is quite difficult to write anything on your blog without journalistic seasonings... But believe me, I always try.
Spoke to a classmate from my school days after almost six years. As expected, the punjabi munda had gone to canada after +2 and has been working there since. I was duly informed that he has settled there and has come to India only a month ago to get married. When I asked him what he did, he told me that he is a journey man machinist. Now even with all my usable and only-for-pleasure-but-generally-unusable knowledge plus my googling skills, I could not understand the exact nature of the work he does. And when I asked him, he went offline. So, I checked with Tanya (closest friend from college). She always has a lighter take on things, which is more often than not, a blessing if I want to rave and rant (which I usually do). She believes that a journey man machinist is must be a new fangled way of referring to a cabbie. So much for my query!
Anyway, I have made no new year resolutions, like every year, but I have started making a to-do-must-do list. I will shortly put that along side the other lists on this blog. Here are the first two entries. Will add more in due course of time.

1. Visit New York for Christmas (the return ticket currently costs Rs 65,000, so alternative cities can be chosen )
2. Write a Mills and Boon type of novel

2009-12-30T01:43:00.002+05:30

I just came back after watching 3 Idiots for the second time. And this time around, I could not wait to talk to my friends from college. College was over months ago... in this time, two batches of juniors have graduated... my juniors have come to third year and with the graduating batch this year, perhaps, my last connection with the college will cease to exist... perhaps...
For many people, 3 Idiots is a brilliant comedy. For me, it is nothing close to what my college life has been. However, there were moments during the movie, when I so missed college... and the people that I so willingly hung out with. One of my closest friends, Mervyn, called me today. We work in the same organisation. But I could not find time to go and meet him. Have my priorities changed? Umm... not really! But, the truth is... that I was so caught up in finishing work that I forgot. Mervs, I'll apologise in person.
Life's changed; in the last couple of months for the better. Perhaps, it was a good thing that I began working during college. Yes, there are moments (when even without being instigated by people), I terribly miss not being part of college fun. I don't think I ever mentioned to anyone what it felt like, when our farewell lunch was held. Yes, there was a bittersweet feeling. But more than that, it was shock and not being part of the batch's collective memory. Our juniors made a video, in sepia, of all of us from our batch. They picked photos from everyone's FB/Orkut profiles. The only pic missing was mine. From the whole movie. Even from NB's annual lunch, the only kid missing from the group shot is me -- because I had to rush to office; because I was too scared to ask for a holiday.
I know it pinched me on the day of the farewell. And it will pinch me years later when I read this blog or GD or even look at pics from college.
Gotcha run... will complete this soon

2009-11-29T01:35:00.003+05:30

In the year gone by

I turned 24 on Thursday. It's certainly a milestone, but nothing as I'd anticipated it to be. For starters, I'd thought that I would win a Pulitzer or at least a Man Booker Prize for an outstanding novel by the time I am 25. I seem nowhere near that.
But, in more ways than one, this birthday has been one of the best in my life so far. I feet proud of my many achievements -- a new job, happiness, a bunch of precious friends and a new purpose. And since 've been missing from the blog for the last couple of months, I am using this entry as a make-do-for-all-previously-missed-posts.
On the career front, I have shifted to TOI and am immensely enjoying my work. In fact, there's so much more to learn here, everyday. Work's unending, but so is the learning. The avg age of the team is 24, in fact, half the team is younger than me. And boss wants me to take up a stronger, more evidently leadership based role. Though am still far that, but am trying.
On the personal front, all my best friends, from different phases of my life, have become friends. I could not believe that all of us as a group were capable of having a conversation for more than an hour. But I was surprised. On my birthday, we spent over six hours chatting on things both serious and trivial. Also, since everyone's love life is going fantastic, I guess all of us had a blast playing our version of 'truth and truth'. :)
On the gossip front, VB thinks that there is someone stalking me on my blog. We both mean to refer to the Mr Anonymous who keeps leaving comments overloaded with praise. Mr A, you have wished me both last year and this year through my blog. Considering you know the essentials details, why don't you also reveal your identity. If you want to say anything, at least say it with your name.
Life's pretty rocking otherwise. Now that the negativity of the previous office is behind me, there is an added punch to work. Days have become hectic and I generally reach home exhausted at midnight. But at least there is no dread when I wake up in the morning to go to work. In fact, this new opportunity has rekindled my desires for my own media enterprise. Let's see how things shape up in the coming months. Both astrologers say that this birthday has marked a shift in my life and I will shape my own future through the work that I do in the coming years. Isn't that true for life generally too?
But I do mean to kick some serious ass and find a position for myself. Anyway, lots is happening and I will be more regular for a while. post tom. To focus on new members of the Stairs Club.

tata
Sassy

2009-10-05T13:05:00.002+05:30

OK. I need opinion. So I went against good advice and made friends in office. Unfortunately, they turned out to be the super clever sorts. So, I was tagged a certain kind and the good folks judged me. And I was too happy-go-lucky to notice that…like always.

But, I see it now. Just when I begun to say no (see how it relates to my last post ;), these CCs (clever colleagues), begun to throw attitude. While I would take it earlier for the sake of friendship and also because of the apprehension of antagonizing the few people I spoke to in office, I realized what a big fool I had been all along.

Now this is as honest a confession as it gets. Yes, I became friends with you when no one considered you worth the honour. You keep talking about your bf as if he is a local hero or a community deity. See, don’t misunderstand me. This is not a bitch session in progress. I would have been equally irritated had a boy friend behaved like this with me.

You did not become part of my joy. Instead, you gossiped about me behind my back. You sniggered when others asked me about the celebration.

Just because you rub shoulders with some biggies, you believe in renting a penthouse in the air. Please do. Just be careful. When you step out, the fall may be pretty steep.

For all that I care, live in your little pink paradise happily. It does not take long for any bubble to burst.

2009-10-04T12:48:00.002+05:30

Believe me when I say that it is a challenge to write a post on one's blog after a hiatus of eight months.

Much has changed since the time I keyed in my last post. Bro found love and is happily married. I am inching towards fructifying ideas that have been haunting my sleep for months now. And, I have learnt to say no.

In many ways, this new office has been a roller coaster ride of lessons. Btw, on October 8, I'll complete a year here.

Now, what all have I learnt in this year?

1. It is best not to have 'close' friends in your own department. Most would be looking to screw you at the first opportunity

2. People like pretending to be poor. So, if you like enjoying a certain lifestyle, you'll be top on their list of anti-establishment. Funnily, even top shots in this office consider your family background and your resources before sending you on junkets or giving a raise. tch tch

3. Never discuss your personal life with anyone, especially if all your colleagues are like-aged. It is the only sure shot way of saving yourself from unwanted inclusion in stupid jokes

4. Do not add to or spread any rumour that you haven't seen from your own eyes.

This may seem like a rant, one that has only become more polished over the last three years that I have been at this place. But fact of the matter is that these golden rules by Sassy are thumb rules to survive in any media organisation today.

Anyway, there is much that I need to sort out today -- my closet to begin with. Will certainly be back in the evening with a more organised post.

Tata!

2009-02-17T23:59:00.003+05:30

Lethargy is a tempting ally...more so when it inspires you to present innovative excuses everyday for not posting on your blog. So here I am, some 7 odd months later, trying to blog away to glory.
Circumstances have danced a whole new sequence and am left with some really weird queries to answer.
Details are best left unsorted for the moment, till the time that I actually dont sort them out in my head.
So the post's straight and brief at the moment, the best way to serve news hot ;-)

2008-08-04T21:34:00.003+05:30

Am back!!!

Yep. Like I said in my previous post, I find it extremely difficult to maintain new year resolutions, especially those that require me to get bound to a form of disciplined action.
However, eight months is a pretty long time to abstain from writing (things that please me). So, when things began to seem mundane, I thought it is the right time to come back. So here I am. A little more patient (hopefully!!!), more vibrant (for sure) and more talkative than last time around surely.

Some things that I have realised in the last eight months:

1. I hate the Big Bindi with all my heart
2. HT is not going to shut down, in spite of what many think. The lady on the upper floor means business
3. I love colour, lots of it
4. Salman Rushdie is a magician -- love his work!

Rest of it later. On second thought, will soon post a pic of the first bag that I made.

2008-08-04T00:24:00.001+05:30

Ringa ringa roses....

2008-01-01T00:46:00.000+05:30

Have never been able to keep a new year resolution..infact..feel that the charm in defining a resolution comes with the thrill of breaking it...
Have deciced instead to create a wish list of sorts this year, where the first and foremost longing is to revive eternal temptations...
Amen...

2007-12-09T21:37:00.000+05:30

THAT I did always love,
I bring thee proof: That
till I loved I did not love enough.
That I shall love always,
I offer thee That love is life,
And life hath immortality.
This, dost thou doubt, sweet?
Then have I have
nothing to show But Calvary.

Beautiful. Period

2007-11-04T21:31:00.000+05:30

My Rishikesh trip

2007-10-19T22:06:00.000+05:30

From the laxman jhoola, at eleven in the night...without a place, looking for something to while away time...

2007-10-19T21:50:00.000+05:30

Har ki pauri..a different view

The beginning of the trip. Shiva's murti at Haridwar.
Look at the natural halo behind the destroyer

2007-09-19T22:51:00.000+05:30

I really do not care two hoots about how twenty twenty is about players killing the spirit of cricket, but Yuvraj's sexy kick-in-the-arse sixers two minutes ago have left the Brits red faced ...seven sixers in 10 minutes...awesome!

2007-09-03T22:53:00.000+05:30

Crossed Jerry in office today. He seemed visibly happier than his usual, silent self (don't know him much, but that's what I feel!). The conversation goes thus:

J: Hi!
SS: Hi! How are you
J: Good..How about you..
SS: OK..Heard you are going to INX?!
J: Yea...who told ya?
SS: Have a friend who is joining it too..heard there are a lot of people from HT too
J: oh..ok..yea..am going..probably a month more to go here
SS: That's why you seem s happy
J: I guess so...

End of the conversation

For a very long time after this I kept on remembering the initial euphoria I had felt on joining HT. Crossing Vir Sanghvi in the office...looking at Poonam Saxena..nalini..the very people whose stories I had read all my freaking life..I remember my second day in office. A senior colleague had told me that my Ed says that I bring bliss into the department. That my chirpiness brings ripples of spring into an otherwise staid department. A year and some months later, I dread going to that place everyday. Not because of its threatening walls and imposingly boring structure. But, because of the spirits that reside within. Colleagues, who I can barely call mine. People, who change faces at the distance of a cubicle. Over the past few days, the appearance of a new colleague has brought me tears unwarranted.
Irrespective of the fact that my Editor gave me everyday goddamn opportunity because I prove my competence for it, these certain guys (and girls included) have a problem. The only ground on which they find that they can pass sly comments (behind my back) is my educational background. The very fact that am still pursuing my undergraduate studies, while these guys are veteran journalists gives them an itch undefined. On top of the, it barely takes a sugared smile for them to ask for contacts and references and numbers for their stories..
So, for the past fortnight, every moment that I seem a little free, I have been the but of 'kiddie' jokes. The guy even went ahead to say that people should understand that there is a certain age for studies and a certain age for working. And one should not enter professional life, if there isn't quote unquote a problem. Really?
At times I just feel like going to my Ed and putting in my papers. But am I a loser? No. Am I someone who makes these people insanely jealous? I don't know. Am I a sleeping dragon, whom these guys are tickling? Yes..for sure....

2007-09-02T13:07:00.000+05:30

Celebrity roof

There is a White House and then there is Arindam Chaudhuri’s Blue House, discovers Garima Sharma

While everything contemporary today necessarily connotes minimalism, Arindam Chaudhuri’s Chittaranjan Park residence gracefully disagrees. In a spectacular fusion of mute, bright, cobalt, azure and a kaleidoscope of other blues, the dynamic space resonates with warmth and welcoming love, in spite of a world of blue it is nestled in.
With its unconventional structure and spaces, the duplex is an example of excellent commercial creativity. In other words, while basic pillars and beams stand as expected, a swirling wooden staircase leading to the drawing room on the upper floor, a fiberglass partition (instead of a wall) between the drawing room and the gym and an old wooden table top converted to a magnificent glass dining glass table bring to life Arindam and Rajita Chaudhuri’s creative thoughts.
The house, as Chaudhuri tells us, was designed to do away with conventionality and make way for a contemporary space. But, the inviting intoxication of love was never compromised on. The Chaudhuris have a close knit group of friends and family and every Saturday, without fail is a get together day. Keeping this priority in mind, customised spaces were created. So, while son Che Kabir’s room is on the lower floor where kids can play, an extended azure blue sofa sits merrily in the drawing room, where all sets of parents can have a relaxed time.
The striking thing however, is the absence of a proper kitchen. Is a replacement pantry enough? Explains Rajita, “We prefer having meals with our parents, who reside on the first floor.”
A happy family that lives together and eats together? Quite literally, Chaudhuri explains, “My friends say that it is a racket in place. I have convinced all my close ones to buy space in Chittaranjan Park, so that we can all live together like an extended family.”
Like the various shades of blue in his house, Chaudhuri too is a single hued man, with varying shades of the palette. As he explains, “Blue and white are my favourite colours. Even if I go to pick something else up, I end up buying blue things.” No wonder then, that from wall colours to concealed lights and from artifacts to Swarovski crystals, everything is blue in the Chaudhuri residence. While renaissance paintings adorn the walls, a sparkly floor stone in dark blue, is quite a novelty.
The Chaudhuri residence may not have 132 rooms like the White House, but within its own confines, it is a reflection of identities both homely and attractive, modern and trendy.
Arindam Chaudhuri is a Management Guru and Economist

Blue bits

A grandfather clock bought for Rs. 15000
Hollow bricks were put in walls to support the staircase made of steel and wood
A modern piano, under the stairs — a gift for Rajita
A bed with concealed lights beneath it, seems to float in air
Arindam’s Sagittarian qualities and Rajita’s Gemini streaks seem abundant in the house

2007-08-11T00:31:00.000+05:30

I wana visit this place....

Seems like magic, doesn't it? It is actually two galaxies colliding...

2007-07-14T23:01:00.000+05:30

When people you care about, people you trust, stab you in the back, there is a sudden numbness. An eerie silence, where you can hear the cruel criticism of your own follies. Where you realise that people who build fortresses around themselves are people who will eventually become kings. And you, on the other hand, will remain an undiscovered 'tank of potential'.
It is odd, how all things go wrong at the same time. I mean, I may be bad with numbers, but such a dirty trick of low probability is perhaps the sharpest irony.

2007-07-13T23:48:00.001+05:30

If there is hell on Earth, it is here.

2007-07-04T12:28:00.000+05:30

Hanging out at the ‘Hangout’

She would like to call it the ‘Hangout’ and has a poster of Bob Marley welcoming you into it. Singer Shibani Kashyap’s residence is a mélange of musical symphonies, a true representation of an artist’s creative aspirations.

On take one, her house appears to be a colourful picture of knick-knacks. A more up, close and personal interaction however, brings out Kashyap’s essence in every corner of the house. She believes that she is hyper-energetic, a complete whacko, vivacious, spiritual and a positively warm person. And random corners in her house reflect the same facets. A soft-board with numerous photographs of hers, a twirling staircase in iron with the most bizarre selection of pieces, a green lounge chair in the shape of a hand, a terrace covered with greens and her bedroom, reflect these qualities respectively. For her, this house in Greater Kailash, in the middle of abundant greens, is a little playground, where she plays to her heart’s content. Not only is her house filled with soft toys, but also has little trinkets that she has made herself, beaded curtains et al.

However, her den is the real eye catcher. Various musical instruments, from a synthesizer to a harmonium, to a violin and multiple guitars, mark the identity of the room. A bookcase in the room spans across all eras of musical excellence. From videocassettes and cassettes to DVDs, the bookcase even has a book on the internationly acclaimed singer Sting. This is where Kashyap has composed a lot of her music, finding solace in the musical conjunctions that are present in the room.

What caught our attention in her house? A glass table supported on violin-shaped legs and an ashtray with a sprawled lady in wood. Kashyap believes that her house is an extension of her personality and her zealous ways. A gypsian wonderland, replete with Kazak carpets and Rajasthani wall hangings, her residence is zone of shuffling energy. Shaad Ali, the Director of Bunty aur Babli, told her that the character Babli was inspired by her house. In fact, Rani Mukherji spent time in Kashyap’s house to absorb the gypsian essence of the place…

Box:

Most expensive accessory: The green lounge chair worth Rs. 37,000
Least expensive accessory: A sarangi picked up from someone on the streets of Jaisalmer for Rs. 400
Has a kazak carpet, soft toys from everywhere, a doll from south Africa
Rahat Fateh Ali Khan composed music on her terrace

2007-06-24T15:56:00.000+05:30

The problem with being a nice person is that you a) feel guilty more often than necessary b) give chances to people who do not deserve them and finally end up weeping the entire night. Niceness is not a license for a myriad of asses to walk all over an individual. Sassy Satan has had her fair share of problems. But she chose to keep her head high. But, as he called her again and again she thought she should take the call instead of being rude. She talks to him, tries to make conversation, little questions about 'watsup' and 'wats happening'. But then the man steers the conversation. Talks about the chick, the chick who replaced SS. Then, he tells SS that he wants her, that he can talk everything to her..he cant do that with others and the chick is really his soulmate. Now really? SS is no fool, just a little sucker for emotions..He wants SS to lend him emotional support, then what the hell is the chick for..he wants SS to take her time..but asks her the number of days its gonna take her...

What is wrong with the world...is it a place absolutely brimming with jerks, who care only about themselves??

P.S: Met Shibani Kashyap and Meera/Muzzafar Ali last week...profiled their residences...Next post!!!

2007-06-03T23:39:00.000+05:30

Well, what to say. It has not been exactly Utopia lately, though it may have been an exaggerated wonderland...
I always assumed that love and THE one were just round the corner..getting ready, to sweep me off my feet. Well, this is not anything remotely creative or firsthand, just a little close fantasy that I have always nurtured. People, men and especially boys have come and gone, without making a difference really. One did, and he turned out to be an ass. After a long time, almost like an eternal slumber, is someone trying. Genuinely. Minus flattery. Boys, as I have been told by numerous friends, are produced through a generic mould. Well, atleast most are. They have a core vision, one goal in mind, and that is where they want to go. Some differ in their routes, taking directions from Sir Tennyson or Shakespeare, or walking along the path tredged by Robert Kincaid. But how many of them really mean it? I frankly have stopped keeping count long ago.
Right now, I feel sick, guilty to my core. I know that everything is genuine, and like I have been repeating in front of friends for the last couple of days, nothing is potentially wrong. Yet, from within, there is a terrible voice that beckons me to stay where I am. To not go anywhere. To not head recklessly into everything like I have always done. To understand and rationalise. To not let this become a classic case in context. To just do anything and everything that brings with it a serene sense of existence.
To calm down. To just know what self wants, really.
Will harping on the same thing on and on help? I wish it would..

2007-05-24T03:26:00.000+05:30

It has been quite a while since I have been out and out candid here. In more ways than one, a lot has changed in this cathartic comma. But, in a condensed capsule, I feel as if I stand where I began, possibly more vulnerable and confused than ever before.
My exams finished a good twenty days ago, but I have no clue as to where I want to go. This break before the next session was meant to be utilised aesthetically- in learning pottery, in making endless sketches, in lying amongst a pile of books (cheesy, queasy, classics et al)..in just enjoying the sluggish hyperactivity of life during the holidays..

But ironically, I have been hardpressed to even put in a post a day. It is just not lack of time that upsets me, but an utter lack of rational feelings. In moments when one generally feels content, I get a sudden sense of extreme deprivation. I stand in the midst of an emotional deluge, yet, I find no stable footing. It is odd really..how words too fail to comfort today...

Darkling I listen; and, for many a time
I have been half in love with easeful Death,
Call'd him soft names in many a mused rhyme,
To take into the air my quiet breath;
Now more than ever seems it rich to die,
To cease upon the midnight with no pain,
While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad
In such an ecstasy!
Still wouldst thou sing, and I have ears in vain -
To thy high requiem become a sod.
-- Keats

2007-05-14T08:29:00.000+05:30

In office. Disciplined start to a new week? Ha..

2007-05-06T16:56:00.000+05:30

The world is a fucking circus full of bourgeoisie idiots

2007-05-04T10:44:00.000+05:30

Am caught in the grind. Again. After a year of waiting patiently, am shifting to my new residence. To a room with ample sunlight. With a staircase along which wind chimes play happily. It is time to do some packing...

2007-05-02T11:59:00.000+05:30

I might just get this tattoo.

In case you find another

great piece with a unicorn or

a female archer, do drop in a word.

2007-05-02T00:33:00.000+05:30

There was a fire in my office. People panicked. I had an ice cream. It was fun. Had to go back to work after two hours though. That was sad.

2007-04-30T15:00:00.001+05:30

They are over. Finally.

2007-04-27T00:37:00.000+05:30

Is this the deformed silence, in which witches whisper their charms...

Is it really? For the past couple of days, I have been a silent and somewhat troubled victim of a tumultuous storm within myself. A deluge of emotions, some internal criticism, some unanswered questions and a lot of studying were the instigators. Today when the primrose was just opening its petals and I was being rattled by a heigtened sense of disgust, I chose to close it all. In a sweeping stroke. Pushed towards a spaceless alley. And a 20 minute nap, is in my opinion the best way to do it.

Couple of weeks ago, I took this 'which goddess are you' quiz. After a random set of obscure questions, it pronounced me as 'aphrodite' - the Greek goddess of love, lust and beauty. Both Aphrodite and Venus have always held a mystic fascination for me. It is almost as if I could play endlessly with the foam that Aphrodite was born out of. Or I could loose myself in the curvy flows of hands and gestures that Venus employed to work her magic. Or as if I could emulate their sassiness. But, the confusion encircling me then created a different desire altogether. A phase of utter wonderment. What if I refused to be involved in emotions and crap and became like one of the Furies, the Greek goddesses of revenge. Now, I know this sounds too lame and silly for comfort, but what if I could reason everything out with a cold, calculated and shrewd rationale?

Eternal tempations aside, the past couple of hours have brought with them a serene sense of existence again. In a silence that seems too forced, too sweetened by its own, too fragile to exist. In this uninterrupted calm I wonder, when there is no other question plaguing my mind.......

.............is this the deformed silence, in which witches whisper their charms

2007-04-26T15:41:00.000+05:30

Four down. One more to go.I wana say yayee...

2007-04-25T22:32:00.001+05:30

Paradise Lost? I too am lost

2007-04-25T00:30:00.000+05:30

The gulf between how one should live and how one does live is so wide that a man who neglects what is actually done for what should be done learns the way to self destruction rather than self preservation. The fact is that a man who wants to act virtuously in every way necessarily comes to grief among so many who are not virtuous.
--Niccolo Machiavelli

1. Now, I really do understand what he is trying to say. One should adapt to situations, rather than behaving in an 'ideal fashion'.
2. But, there is a one-liner with a similar meaning that just irritates the hell out of me--if you cant change a situation, change your thinking. Can I ask why should I do that?

A test question for you Mr. Machiavelli. If an individual close to you, asks your opinion about something they like, what do you do? Do you act virtuously, and lie to them about it? Even if you do not agree with their choice? Or do you act according to the situation, tell the truth and see a smile vanish forever?

I didnt know what to do......

2007-04-24T15:01:00.000+05:30

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

2007-04-23T23:04:00.000+05:30

Wish I'd known the words...

2007-04-23T14:34:00.000+05:30

Three down. Two more to go.

2007-04-21T00:40:00.000+05:30

Fiasco Roll (Like most posts, this one was begun yesterday and completed today)

It is certainly true that life offers one a taste of everything. From bitter sweet memories to salty alliances. In fact, even crisp experiences for that matter. And as is customary to such staid beginnings in a narrative, I too shall divulge the tasteful (tasteless actually) experiences that I had today. I may not appreciate the humour behind these once-in-a-lifetime moments post today, but I have not altogether lost an appetite for them.

After god-only-knows-how-many years, I woke up early and went to the temple at sharp seven in the morning. No need for the arched eyebrows! Today being an auspicious day was also the ocassion for a grah-pravesh puja at my new residence. So, I delightfully enter the temple premises, enjoying the playful strokes of a casual early morning breeze. But before I know, I bump into another delightful soul. One that stings me on my right foot. Yea, right. Benefits of waking up early morning: an itching pain all day long.

Now, some part the fiasco had been anticipated beforehand. My History examination had to start at 9 am sharp, and the puja was supposed to begin at 7.30. Now, do I really need to explain the entire story? I was late by a good 30 minutes for the exam, the teacher-in-charge had already marked me absent and submitted the detail-sheet to the office, there was no question paper for me and I was haplessly stranded. In a two hour examination, I could barely manage to finish my paper in the leftover hour. The icing on the cake, actually the spice on the roll came when my brother told me that such goof ups are once in a lifetime moments. Quite the positive spirit, isnt he!

This is where I continue...Its literally 21st today. So, is there ain't any point in conteplating what happened yesterday? or the day before? or every goddamn thing that has ever gone wrong? Yes and no. Yes- one needs to think about all that in order learn how to grow from such experiences (really?). No-because the fucking cycle will repeat itself, to bring new lessons. So, why bother?

Most of the time, its not even my fault when I see red. When I react spontaneously, it might be my fault. But, hey! I didnt trigger it. In any case, things come and things go. And where am I during this great transition, this great journey of lessons and tests? I am in my own world. Thinking about stupid things. Like why isnt everyone as honest and straightforward? Why do I feel jammed when it wasnt my goddamn fault to begin with? Why do I still feel jammed even after establishing it wasnt my fault?

Now, I know my profile says that Ithe light at the end of tunnel seems dark and that I carry my own torchlight. Well, I really try to! Found a very different approach to the same today: The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train...

Have you had the impulse to step out of the way and not get trampled?

2007-04-20T21:43:00.000+05:30

Two goddamn, infuriating incidents in the same day? What is the bloody probability?
A happy news is lost in these gallows forever...

2007-04-20T02:33:00.000+05:30

What should one do if there is a keen desire to eat candyfloss at the moment?

2007-04-19T17:18:00.000+05:30

Two down. Three more to go. History, sucks.

2007-04-18T16:18:00.000+05:30

Oh my god, I haven't prepared a speech...

Warning: Done in all immodesty and a fit of unabashed glee

The post where I contemplate selling indulgences has been nominated for the April 2007 Blog Mela. Yayee!

2007-04-18T01:36:00.000+05:30

Is funny the word? Because funnily, it takes only a moment for one to witness a mood swing. A rather irritating one.

2007-04-17T22:41:00.000+05:30

They pass through whirlpools, and deep woes do shun,
Who the event weigh, ere the action's done...

2007-04-16T19:25:00.000+05:30

Free will? Pre-destination? Blah!

2007-04-16T00:04:00.000+05:30

Approaching exams. Lots to study, but no study. Shifting the residence. Packing, repacking, unpacking. Pending office work. Changing preferences and philosophies. A nightmarish ex popping up again. Disheartening horoscope readings. Constant allegations of being a rebel. In all, a fucked up weekend.

2007-04-15T05:25:00.000+05:30

A slight desire to sleep. Waning night. Fear of impending exams. Doctor Faustus by my side. Beginning of understaning. Swirling thoughts twirling my senses. A serene breeze calming me down. Expectations of a beautiful day ahead? Or a hectic spin by the clock? Should I really anticipate?

2007-04-14T23:44:00.000+05:30

Had a pretty frustrating bike-driving lesson. But, William is single again. Thats nice to know...

2007-04-14T19:26:00.000+05:30

Eternal Temptations...

Its no more Friday, the 13th (when I had actually started this post) and am back again. To talk. To share. Or perhaps to just let go...

Eternal Temptations. Intriguing, isn't it? When I had started this blog, I believed that I was a word connoisseur (pronounced kon-uh-sur, seems like something airy is rolling off my tongue!). It sounds very lame now, but I never wanted to call myself a language lover. I loved to experiment with the power of words. To flirt with their utility. However, I could never justify why my blog was titled Eternal Temptations or why I christened myself Sassy Satan.

But as I look back now, I wonder endlessly. Who really am I? What is my profession? Is it what I do to earn my bread and butter, in this case earrings, or is it something that satisfies my eternal tempations, my cravings? As I was reading some fourteenth century literature, I stumbled upon some magnificiently ludicrous trends and professions. And it got my thoughts and questions moving again. What if I was a seller of indulgences?

What would I do? Would I sell tales of fantasy and astonishment to Scheherazade (isn't the name delicious), the legendary persian queen? Or help every young rebel direct their own Motorcycle Diaries? Or dissociate the disgust and fear asscociated with pagan rituals? Or explain that mysticisim too has scientific explanations? Would I give enough light to the concierge, the french Keeper of the Candles, who tended to visiting nobles in castles of the medieval era?Or would I help detach the sin associated with desire? Or would I make love eternal, beyond reason and calculations? Would innocence become necessary for life? Would kids have unlimited access to sugar and candies? Would I sell childlike joy to adults? Would I sell them the time to feel, understand and enjoy poetry? To sit and let a casual breeze ruffle their hair? Or the coldest dew drop evaporate from their faces? To enjoy a true hug from a happy toddler? Would I help them indulge in the brazen beauty of life? Honest smiles, genuine blush, the desire to go and dance in the rain, to hop-skotch with water puddles on the road? To scream themselves hoarse without bothering about 'people'? Would I help them enjoy a solitary dance on a dreamy, moonlit night? Or enjoy the softest strawberry, or the loveliness of a squishy tomato? Would I sell intoxicants, coffee or aphrodisiacs? Would I sell them moments when they can hear their heart overpower their head? Would love and lust dance together? Would I give them a voice to present their thoughts? The strength to defy judgements? Would kisses be more than merging tongues? Would there ever be an eternal moment enjoyed in a fleeting touch?Would would I ultimately sell, indulgences?

I am tempted...more so than ever...

Will someone ever come with some indulgences on offer?

2007-04-12T04:00:00.000+05:30

At four eleven in the morning, all I realise is, that after eleven attempts, I have just been succesful enough to reach the fifth round in the knockout tournament in NFS. Well, it does not mean that I suck at the game. It clearly means that am not focussing hard enough. Just half an hour ago, I had another bizarre tryst with some DVDs. I wanted to watch Wonder Years today. After combing piles and layers of crappy stuff for twenty frustrating minutes, I realise that the DVD is sitting quietly in the DVD carton. Now, the audio device on my pc refuses to respond, and am forced to listen to songs on my cellphone. Now, when a day dawns like this, what can I expect in the next 20 hours? Not a lot of giggles I suppose...

A lot of things these days are not making sense. Why do I have to sit for a paper each in Economics and History, when my Bachelor's is in Literature? Were S and I destined to become so close again? Am I just plain selfish to call her whenever I have something wonderful to share and refuse to divulge when something painful happens? Is it fair on my part to be her 'closest pal' and yet not be close? Have I really been fair to her, considering that I have ditched her numerous times in the past couple of years? And that we end up rebonding like nothing ever happened. I also fail to understand how she will pass her examination tomorrow, considering that we were chit-chatting about 'higher philosophies' till about an hour ago...

Now, the politics of relationships is another thing that really drives me up the wall. (actually I also wonder why my chain of thought refuses to follow a linked path) And this is just not about a hunky-dorey, boy girl relationship. It is about relationships in general. Why do I have to phrase and re-phrase tests so that they sound nice and subtle? Why is there so much of deliberate thought? Planned steps? Regular assessment and more importantly, critical judgement? Cannot things just be as they are-- impulse driven or emotion dictated? Why the need for 4/2 yields 2...

Another thing. Actually no. Nothing. I really fail to understand how a tired brain can crib in such lucid details. So, no more wonderings.

P.S: If :-) is a smiley, is :-( a saddie? (Could not resist asking this)

2007-04-11T22:26:00.000+05:30

Exams
One down, four to go. Economics sucks. So, does History.

2007-04-09T12:18:00.000+05:30

Economics sucks. English enables me to state that Economics sucks. Literature guides me to find the rhyme and reason for everything here. Why it sucks, who said it sucks, the socio-political and geographical configurations that bring about such a situation..uh ho..huh..eh....zzzzzzzz

Dinnnnggg: Time for exams! what!!??? uh ho..huh..eh..zzzzz

2007-04-08T23:10:00.000+05:30

Gravity cannot be held responsible for two people falling in love- Albert Einstein

Brilliant piece. Fervent love, overflowing emotions, candid confession, lucid thoughts. Maddening final build-up. Nana Patekar- icing on the cake.

It does not get better than this....

Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Mere liye tum kaun ho, kaise bataaoon
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Tum dhadkanon ka geet ho
Jeevan ka tum sangeet ho
Tum zindagi tum bandagi
Tum roshni tum taazgi
Tum har khushi tum pyaar ho
Tum preet ho manmeet ho
Aankhon mein tum yaadon mein tum
Saanson mein tum aahon mein tum
Neendon mein tum khwaabon mein tum
Tum ho meri har baat mein
Tum ho mere din raat mein
Tum subaah mein tum shyaam mein
Tum soch mein tum kaam mein
Mere liye paana bhi tum
Mere liye khona bhi tum
Mere liye hasna bhi tum
Mere liye rona bhi tum
Aur jaagna sona bhi tum
Jaaoon kahin dekhoon kahin
Tum ho vahan, tum ho vahin
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Tum bin to main kuch bhi nahin
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Mere liye tum kaun ho
Yeh jo tumhaara roop ha
iYeh zindagi ki dhoop hai
Chandan se tarsha hai badan
Behti hai jis mein ek agan
Yeh shokhiyaan yeh mastiyaan
Tumko hawaaon se mili
Zulfein ghataaon se mili
Honton mein kaliyaan khil gayi
Aankhon ko jheele mil gayi
Chehre mein simti chaandni
Aawaaz mein hai raagini
Sheeshe ke jaisa ang hai
Phoolon ke jaisa rang hai
Nadiyon ke jaisi chaal hai
Kya husn hai kya haal hai
Yeh jism ki rangeeniyaan
Jaise hazaaron titliyaan
Baahon ki yeh golaaiyaan
Aanchal mein yeh parchhaaiyaan
Yeh nagriyaan hai khwaab ki
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Haalat dil-e-betaab ki
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Mere liye tum kaun ho
Kaise bataaoon, kaise bataaoon
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Mere liye tum dharam ho
Mere liye imaan ho
Tum hi ibaadat ho meri
Tum hi to chaahat ho meri
Tum hi mera armaan ho
Takta hoon main har pal jisse
Tum hi to voh tasveer ho
Tum hi meri taqdeer ho
Tum hi sitaara ho mera
Tum hi nazaara ho mera
Yudhyaan mein mere ho tum
Jaise mujhe ghere ho tum
Purab mein tum pachhim mein tum
Utar mein tum dakshin mein tum
Saare mere jeevan mein tum
Har pal mein tum har chir mein tum
Mere liye rasta bhi tum
Mere liye manzil bhi tum
Mere liye saagar bhi tum
Mere liye saahil bhi tum
Main dekhta bas tumko hoon
Main sochta bas tumko hoon
Main jaanta bas tumko hoon
Main maanta bas tumko hoon
Tum hi meri pehchaan ho
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Devi ho tum mere liye
Mere liye bhagwaan ho
Kaise bataaoon main tumhe
Mere liye tum kaun ho
Kaise

2007-04-07T23:00:00.000+05:30

Let all burn in hell...

Beginning an artcile by defining the dictionary meaning of the central idea has always seemed extremely insipid to me. But, I do not think that I have a choice today. I am short on time, completely anxious, and somewhat irked to get through with this. But hey, I shall not be so creatively starved! I think, wikipedia.org will be a much better reference than dictionary.com.

Now, wikipedia defines disgust is an emotion that is typically associated with things that are perceived as unclean, inedible or infectious. In The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, Charles Darwin wrote that disgust refers to something revolting. Primarily in relation to the sense of taste, as actually perceived or vividly imagined; and secondarily to anything which causes a similar feeling, through the sense of smell, touch, and even of eyesight.

But surprisingly, the disgust that I feel at the moment is completely different. It is totally overpowering, brings with itself a sense of emotional deluge and internal constriction. I have the words to scream, but no voice. I have the hands to hit, but no strength. I have the reason to burst, but no logic for it. And it really, has nothing to do with the sense of smell, touch and even that of eyesight.

2007-04-06T23:42:00.000+05:30

This, that and everything

Well, I am back again. To do exactly what, I am not sure. I am currently, in a very blissful state of mind. Yesterday, I was enthralled, the day before I was disoriented. But, back to today, and I feel a sudden calm, a serenity so close, that I can anticipate a surprise serendipity. (I, btw, love the movie and the word alike). It is as if, everything has quietened down, to detect the sly tip toes of something walking in, quietly but surely....

People say that first things should come first. I think that funny incidents should come first. Me and a very close girlfriend 'S' were listening to an old punjabi folklorish song by Shujaat Khan. The basic lyrics in the song are lajo-lajo, a very affectionate way of referring to the woman you love (and she would blush). The song barely has 10 lines of lyrics, but the music and the meaning make it a heady expereince. Anyways, S asks me about what the guy is singing. I readily tell her Lajo- Lajo. She says, "Who talks like that, man!" And I cannot stop laughing.

So, blissful. That is what I feel. Many years ago, I had felt something similar and had composed a poem.

God, I wish I could,
Breathe in the beautiful smell of love,
Savour the taste of this bud,
Souvenir it in my heart,
But, oh, lord! I fail upon all these
But stay in the hope, that,
Tomorrow’s another day.

Another day, that will come by me,
Help me breathe all these,
I will reach the desired peaks,
The forbidden places, the home of love,
From which we are guided against.
I will always remain in this hope,
After all tomorrow’s another day.

No blindfold shall hold me back,
There will be nothing that I will lack,
Only the lushness & the beauty,
That remains engulfing me,
The beautiful smell & the scenery,
All these have yet to come,
Yet the hope remains,
After all,
Tomorrow’s another day.

But today, I do not feel like penning anything. I feel like sharing things I like. I like the word repertoire, though the meaning does not suit it. I love alliteration. I love writing flowery beginnings. I love listening to slow songs (my bro thinks they are haunted). I love it when young Will recites instant sonnets for Voila in Shakespeare in Love. I love Kevin Arnold, when he misses Winnie Cooper. I love it when Racheal quits her job in Paris to be with Ross, when Joey comes back to Chandler to hug him, in spite of moving out. I love quotes like 'Diamonds are nothing but ordinary pieces of coal, that performed extraordinarily under pressure'. I love the crafts musuem in Delhi. I love pottery. And I love the German translation for I love you --Ich liebe Sie! I love the little girl who sells books at the traffic light outside my office. Because the first day that I had come to office, there was a puddle of dirty water that I would have stepped into, if she would not have come up to me and said very sweetly, "Didi, come from that side. Otherwise, your clothes will get dirty." I love the night scenes in the movie water, they are so beautiful. I love it when someone has a quick and witty retort to situations. I love it when people are honest. I love Pav bhaji. I love the colours crimson and black. I love to stare at the moon when there is a lukewrm breeze or a slight nip in teh air. I love to splash cold water on my face and stand out in the balcony at five in the morning. I love taking photographs and I love noticing constellations. I love earrings. I love the smell of fresh ground coffee.

I love to talk. And I talk to love....

2007-04-05T00:00:00.000+05:30

Beyond the usual

I have been seriously contemplating about deleting the blog for a very long time now. There are a multitude of reasons for the same. But, the basic and most honest one is that I dont have anything new to write anymore these days. So, instead of typing a nonsensical mix of thoughts and words, it is better to graze the platform only to ground.

However, at the risk of a lot of criticism, I contradict my own statement, at least for today. As much as I complain about shortage of time, something compels me to write this today. It may not make a lot of sense, it may not even follow a meticulous chain of thought. But it is what is running helter-skelter in my mind right now.

Since a kid, colours and patterns have not only fascinated me, but at times drawn me towards them. I have a weird habit of drawing leaves and eyes whenever I have a pen in my hand, however that is not really the point here. So, I always wanted to pursue fashion designing, till the time in my XIth standard I realised, that the world of adults is really about Engineers and Doctors (though personally I can refute that any day). However, there was a gentleman whose style I always admired. Because he was elegant himself, spoke less and concentrated in his work.

Recently, I came across this anniversary issue of the magazine Verve, and it somehow manages to catch up with Shahab Durazi. An excerpt from the article reads '....Welcome to Duraziland. Images whisper. Fantasy and finery go hand in hand in a well stitched glove...... Durazi's clothes make you a confident insider. Now and zen...'. The article goes on to state how Durazi, a self acclaimed recluse, prefers to be seduced by the fabrics that he holds, instead of the cash that he can earn.

While reading the article, my initial liking for him transformed into awe and respect, and I felt a sudden kinship. Kinship? Yes. Durazi talks about questions he raises, the societal customs of politeness and air kissing that he dislikes. In short, I realised that my breed is yet not extinct. There are more who like to question.

A friend's friend told me today that I have a difefrent way of looking at things, a fresher perspective. I think I refuse to believe existing statements. Many (including those close to me), see me as a rebel. Many think that I complicate things too much for myself, by thinking too much. And many just feel, that it is the vagary of my age. I think, it is my fundamental right.

Now, I like to think. And analyse too. And then, I like to question what is that I dont understand. Now, whats wrong in that? Nothing much. Except the fact, that people senior (in age and rank), think quite negatively about me.
When I was young, I thought I will change the world. The world tried to change me, all through the years. We are still fighting, but victory sure seems near.

2007-04-04T00:35:00.000+05:30

Just came across this beautiful piece of poetry. Could not resist putting it up here.

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above--
Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights, or for one,
And some for all their years.

Beautiful.

2007-04-04T00:07:00.000+05:30

Listening to the song Bawaaran mann from Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi. Beautiful song. Poignant lyrics. Music that makes me sway instantly.

Had a good conversation with my editor today. We both realised that there should be atleast one good looking journo in our department. It is time for a new eye candy! So, thats some news.

Have nothing much to add today. So will just post some more of the story.

contd......

26 Nov 1983, Los Angeles, USA

15440 kilometers away and 13 and a half hours behind New Delhi, the doctor from India was handling the most complicated case of her life. Mrs. Mason, or Rebecca, as Dr. Sia knew her was fast loosing consciousness, and on top of that the baby was breach. The tension and fear in the room could be felt, yet, besides being a science field professional, Dr. Sia was a devout believer in God, and she knew, that in this critical hour her God will not betray her.

The moment Risa uttered her first word, a short cry filled room number 8, in the urban Los Angeles hospital. Rebecca had given birth to her first son, and miraculously escaped death. Dr. Sia clasped her hands in a silent prayer. Her God had not let her down, once again, perhaps in the most vital moments of her life as a doctor. She knew that He alone had the power to create and destroy, yet, once again he had proved that he never deserted his believers.

A day and a good news later (Risa’s improving speech), Dr Sia was declared Paul’s (Rebecca’s son) godmother. Though, the two news meant a lot to her on different levels, yet, Dr. Sia was completely unaware as to how they would one day interweave to show her that, not all surprises are man made and not all ironies are under man’s monopoly.

Risa was growing up as a beautiful girl, stunning in her features and sharp by her mind. Every year she returned home with the “highest scorer of the class” badge. Sneh and Yash could not have asked for more from God.

The day, Risa entered eleventh standard, two years short of her high school graduation, she announced to her parents that she would do her undergraduate studies from USA. Although, the thought of separation from Risa troubled her parents, but, her persistence won in the end.

2 years later, and armed again with the badge that had never gone to anyone in her class till the very last semester, Risa bade goodbye to her parents. She knew that they were fighting very hard to control the emotional turmoil in their heart and the whirlpool of water behind their eyes, yet, she knew that she was going abroad for a reason- to one day make her parents proud. She was going to be as successful as her Aunt Sia.

“Aunt Sia, here I come”, muttered Sia while waving to her parents. Though Risa had spoken to Sia many times and seen her snaps, yet this would be the first time she would meet her face to face. Of course, there had been no other choice as to who Risa would stay with, once in America.

Hours later, when the pilot announced that the flight would land in 10 mins, Risa was stifling a yawn. But the moment she heard the announcement, her fatigue evaporated. She was entering the country which many called the “Land of Oportunities”. And what a day to do so. Risa had turned 18 a minute ago.

***********************************************************************************

Sia recognised Risa as soon as she came out of the airport. How could she not? She had herself delivered her little angel. And here she was, 18 years after her birth, hugging Risa. "You know Risa; you have acquired all of Snehs’s beauty.” Risa was radiant. “And none of Yash’s”, added Sia with a sly smile.

The drive back home just flew by in their conversation. “Wow, Sia Auntie, your house is beautiful” exclaimed Risa. “Not as beautiful as you, honey” said Sia. Risa knew that Aunt Sia took Risa as her daughter. At age 43, Aunt Sia was beautiful but unmarried. And her perennial answer to her single status was, “I have my two children who support me like heart and soul, one is Risa and the other is Paul.”

Sia was almost Paul’s second mother. The Masons were god fearing people, and they knew, that on the night of 26 Nov, 1983, God had come as Dr. Sia for them.
“So, when am I meeting this Paul of yours?” asked Risa. "Soon. I invited him over for breakfast today, but I doubt he will be able to make it. He is putting finishing touches to the MONALISA of the 21st century. And our very own Leonardo doesn’t have time to waste on lesser mortals like us.” “ What does he think he is,” shot back Risa getting angry. "Come on, honey, Paul is very passionate about his art. And mind you, he has the gift in his hands. As if, brushes come to life when they come in contact with his fingers. Anyway, you meet him and decide what he thinks for himself. Right now it is very late and you must also be jetlagged. Go to sleep right now, and we will continue all our talks in the morning. Your room is on the first floor, first one to the right. And kitchen is just straight ahead, in case you feel hungry at night.” Risa blushed awkwardly, even Aunt Sia knew about her monsterous appetite.

2007-04-03T00:07:00.000+05:30

Rebounding back

Yes, am officially on a rebound. Oh not an emotional one, but one that signifies metaphorically, a lot of what happened in the past few days. I have in fact grown significantly, in terms of my vocabulary and experience. Now I know the difference between enthralled and happy, sad and lonely, angry and volatile. This post, basically brings me back as who I was-- Sassy Satan, albeit a little wiser and perhaps (hopefully), a little more expressive.

Spoiler warning: The post maybe longer than what is expected, bearable and liked.

I noticed how hypnotic the moon was today, but couple of days ago, it was a group of stars that had caught my attention. Twinkling brightly, they were merrier than the kid who tries to count them. They shone and they shone. And they reminded me of the desire that I had. To own a telescope, to see the planets and the stars every night, to have a notebook and make observations. Desires that I had before I realised that someone called Galileo had already lived my dreams ( and received a lot of attention for it).

Jokes apart, from today, there is a new addition to the right side corner of my blog. ' I wish I wish' is a list of things that I have been wanting to buy or do. Now, earrings will remain at the top of that list forever, because that is a fetish that refuses to dilute. About the visit to the zoo-- well I have been trying to do that for a number fo years now, convincing friends and family alike, but to no avail. Maybe I will go alone someday. Have heard a lot about a cute baby hippo there.

Now desires, urm.., are very complex feelings. I have seen people getting trapped in desires forever. But I have also known achievers who have dreamt, desired and attained. For me, my desires are yet very nascent. I know what I want, but more so in thoughts than in a tangible reality. I desire to reach a peak where I can refuse the biggest deal. I desire to be able to laugh as openly, loudly and carelessly as I did when I was younger. And I desire to be able to cross every little heading that I enter in the 'I wish and I wish' column. I actually also want to do this six month cours ein pottery at the Blue Pottery Club. Also want to take up kathak again. Want to attend, at least once, the karvan of sufi singers who tour India once every year. And I desire to be a child again.

Yesterday, being a sunday was a 'strictly family' day. Which is to say that I had a lot of fun. I did a lot of shopping too, but I did enjoy for other reasons too. Now, my mum is particularly finicky about roadside food. But me and bro are brats. Yesterday, after a very long time, I revived some childhood tastes. We had two plates of mirchi wala bhuta (we call it that). However, it is actually boiled corn with a lot of spices, chilli sauce and lemon. Also had sugarcane cubes (cut into pieces). We were fond of these things when we were growing up. However, kids these days revel in american corn and tropicana juice. But, the flavour, the joys and the meories that we felt yesterday are rather hard to put in words. I desire to be a kid again.

Have a lot more to say, but t he post has gone a little awry. There is a story that I wrote ages ago. Thought of sharing it. Everytime I feel a little low, I read it. Because it has a hundrerd reasons behind it that make me smile. And I smile. It is a little longish. So will be putting it up in parts.

The only note that I can conclude is a rather iffy one. My exams begin next tuesday. And I am yet to begin the preparation.

Tadaa!

************************************************************************************

CHAPTER 1

31st January 1983, New Delhi, India

“Congratulations”, beamed the plump nurse. “You have been blessed with a pretty young angel, Mr. Oberoi.” Suddenly, Dr. Sia, the doctor in-charge of Mrs. Oberoi’s case, walked into the waiting lobby. “Yash, your daughter is just stunning,” she complimented.

Dr. Sia had been the Oberoi’s family friend for years. She and Yash had attended school together and had been the best of friends ever since. Today, she was a renowned doctor and Yash, a well established businessman. When Sneh (Yash’s wife) conceived, there was no doubt as to who would handle her case. And today, 8 months and 20 days later, Dr. Sia had delivered Risa.

Though Latin in origin, yet Risa is what Yash had always wanted to christen his daughter. The laughing one, he thought, recalling what it had meant and why it had touched him so much. And, from that day on, aunt Sia’s little stunning beauty was called Risa.

Even after a week since her birth, the smile never left her cute little face and the Oberoi’s affectionately admired the perfect name they had given their daughter.

Just how perfect it was, they would notice years later.

CHAPTER 2

3 months after Risa’s birth, her Aunt Sia shifted to Los Angeles, America as Senior Gynaecologist, Holy Child Hospital. Though, her work kept her engrossed more than ever, yet, she managed to keep record of Risa’s development process.

Sneh and Yash were completely smitten by their little angel. Though, a naughty child like any her age, Risa woke them up in the middle of the night, however, since the day of her birth she had brought an unspoken, unknown glow on their faces. They couldn’t remain one second without seeing her face, and to her those strange faces meant the world.

9 months and 26 days hence, when Risa first uttered “ma”, the first call was trans-Atlantic. “Her phone is on voice mailbox”, said Sneh. “Maybe, she is in the middle of a surgery. I’ll try to contact her again after half an hour. Anyways, I have left her a message to call back ASAP. And Yash, please switch on the voice recorder. I want to capture this moment. See, she said ma before she has said pa. SO, I have won our bet!!”

“Papa”, retorted the little devil for the first time, not letting her father down. “I guess we are equal now”, smirked Yash. “She said ma before papa”, was all Sneh could manage. But anyone observing both of them right now, knew, that the entire meaning of their lives had come true in this very moment.

P.S: I am yet to name this one!

2007-03-30T00:37:00.000+05:30

Had a 100 goddamn things in mind to write about. Missed posts in the last two days. Feel like deleting the entire blog at the moment.

2007-03-30T00:11:00.000+05:30

My new toe-rings which were keeping me so happy
But are giving me no pleasure now
Well, they do look cute, don't they?

2007-03-29T23:57:00.001+05:30

What the fuck is wrong with the world..

2007-03-27T23:32:00.000+05:30

Food, Air and Water

There are many possible ways to begin this post. In fact, some of them brilliantly crafted. But I shall avoid all that jazz, and come straight to the point. Today I talk about Andhra food (which I have no clue about), my bhai (about whom I assume I know a lot about) and humour (about which it is rumoured that I have no clue).

I mention in one of my earlier posts that my bhai happens to be a foodie, and a real enthusiatic one at that. After a really long convincing session, he finally manages to take us to Andhra Bhawan, the state office (Building, canteen, site, premises??) of Andhra Pradesh. Am sure this will utterly disappoint him, but I am not going to critique the food/ambience/settings/price at the place. What interested me more was the wide array of observations that I could make. Well, I might just end up remarking something about the food/ambience/settings/price, depending upon my thoughts.

In spite of the intimidating Andhra influence that one senses upon entering, the place is actually pretty enjoyable. Surprisingly, there was no South Indian family sitting in close proximity. To my right was a gujarati family, to my back was a punjabi family and in front of me was a jat family. Now during a sumptuous dinner, I hear snatches of baddi mirchan haegiyan ne (thats punjabi for: there is a lot of chilli) and ke baat hai (thats a jat asking if there's a problem).

Well, in short the food was nice. The price was reasonable. And the fare was unlimited.

The true blue punjabi that I am, after being well watered and fell fed, I need to sleep. And sleep away to glory. But after the dinner, I could not indulge in such a luxury, as I had a 30 minute drive back home to look forward to. I avoid switching on the AC in my car, so I chose to roll down the window. Now one thing that I really miss these days is a fantastic bike ride. Both me and my brother are avid bike lovers (well, I just love the ride along). A car certainly is comfortable, but, it does not have the same charm as a bike. So, sleep induced that I was, I felt the first waves of the brilliantly lukewarm and tasty air sweep across my face.

I have never reached home faster, because I was oblivious to what was around me. With my eyes closed, I saw flashes of colour. Of nothing really. I lost all thoughts and observations. And now I have nothing to continue with. So, I end here.

Actually I do. My mum is a serious person. But when she cracks a joke, she gives it her best shot. This is how the curtain falls today:

Mum: How much is the balance in your salary account?
Me: Why?
Mum: Just like that. Dont I tell you everything?
Me: Yea, but I dont really ask you the balance in your salary account!
Mum: Ok, dont tell. But I do so many savings and investments in your name. Why dont you also start doing some in mine. Wink, Wink.

Ma. I enjoy your sense of humour.

2007-03-26T23:06:00.000+05:30

One fine moment......

Weird is the word. Or perhaps momentary. Well, I have never been good at describing moments perfectly. But this happened in a split second. And for years, I have been strangely aware of this thing happening, yet I have no reason. In fact, I remember reading something extremely similar, but I have no recollection of the same at the moment. I guess it was Wordsworth or Keats, who remarks in one of his poems that it is actually immediately aftre a really serene and happy moment, that we feel the loneliest and the saddest.

It happened today. I was happy and suddenly I felt everything tumble down. I have been fiercely debating with myself over the reason. But I still dont know. Maybe it is because I am exteremely impulsive, or excessively careless or completely oblivious.

I hurt a friend today. And I know I did. Unnecessarily. In a fit of stupidty. And it is horrid. I apologised. He said it was nothing. Maybe this was the reason. Or perhaps, I realised that I am nowhere near what I had dreamt myself to be. Or the expectations that I had. Maybe because I suddenly felt inadequate.

Maybe I am just sleep deprived. OR maybe its the natural correction of hormonal imbalance ( I tend to go overboard with all categories of emotions)...

Thinking too much is stupid. But, it is my natural occupation.

Drew without any reason

With charcoal

and red sketch pen

In a fit.

of i dont know what

2007-03-26T21:41:00.000+05:30

These make me smile...

A Nun asked her class to write notes to God. Here are some they handed in:

Dear God : I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made onTuesday. That was cool.

Dear God: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you keep the ones You already have?

Dear God: Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.

Dear God: If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.

Dear God: I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world. There are only 4people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.

Dear God: In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?

Dear God : Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?

Dear God: Is it true my father won't get into heaven if he uses his bowling words inthe house?

Dear God: Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?

Dear God: Who draws the lines around the countries?

Dear God : I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that OK?

Dear God: Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.

Dear God: Thank You for the baby brother, but I think you got confused because what Iprayed for was a puppy.

Dear God: Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.

Dear God: I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hairall over.

Dear God: You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways.

Dear God: I think about You sometimes, even when I'm not praying.

Dear God: Of all the people who worked for You, I like Noah and David the best.

Dear God : My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're justkidding, aren't they?

Dear God:I would like to live 900 years just like the guy in the Bible.

Dear God : We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it.So, I bet he stole Youridea

2007-03-25T22:42:00.000+05:30

Daily lessons

I learnt that one minute of genuine smile can really heighten the glow on one's face. At least it does on mine. I start glowing like a 440 watt bulb.

Another lesson: you have to run household errands, irrespective of just how tired you are.

Lesson (alert alarm actually) three: If one does not study before exams, then flunking is a destination not that far away.

There is nothing more to read. It is time to study economics.

This is an actual event that happened at the Law Centre

Delhi University

Saw the poster minutes after a monkey had 'pee'd on one of my friends

It reads: Mooter's Society

2007-03-24T23:33:00.000+05:30

Contrasts: here and now

Contrast is a strange word. It is extremely helpful as a literary device when comparing two different quantities. It is amazingly useful when I have to adjust the colours on my TV. Though wikipedia states eight different subjects where contrast becomes a homonym, in my case the meaning is the easiest. Contrast is a measurement of the dissimilarity between things.

My morning started on a weird note. My editor calls me on my landline. This is how the conversation goes:

Me: Hello (who the hell is it)
Her: Hello
Me: Yes
Her: Its Nalini
Me: Oh..Good morning mam
Her: Good morning darling. Why are you sleeping away to glory at 9.30 in the morning ?
Me: uh huh
Her: Listen, L.N. Mittal is in Delhi today and I want you to do that assignment. Will you do it please?
Me: Ofcourse (who would miss that)
Her: ok..the car will....(blah blah blah)

So, I was thrilled. And the day seemed exciting. After five hours of waiting, Mr. Arcelor Mittal addresses a press conference for 3 minutes and wraps it up after three questions. Me being one of the lucky ones that he answered (wink, wink). But, thats besides the point.

Now, here come the long list of contrasts which I could not help but notice after that:

I was 'excited' to meet him in the morning, but 'pissed' after doing so
Had a 'great time' with my family in the morning, but had a 'tiff' in the night
Lakshmi Niwas Mittal was finding it hard to smile while giving away medals to students, but passed me a smile twice during the press meet
Kamal Nath seems like a half wit, but is actually a man very well versed in his communication skills
The Steel giant barely has five mins for the media, whereas the CPRO (thats the Chief Public Relations Officer) takes 15 minutes to walk me to the gate, two kilometres away.

Contrasts are strange phenomena. They leave you pondering much more than you bargained for.

Five o'clock in the morning

Tip of Kanyakumari

March, 2006

Sunrays peeping out to meet me

Contrast: March, 2007. And I am in Delhi

2007-03-23T12:54:00.000+05:30

Look what I found...

This is just a snippet. Am currently a victim of retail happiness and the post is testimony to the same.

Though I had decided to refrain from all further expenditures till the end of April, I reached Oxford Bookstore by a wonderous stroke of fate. Guess what I found there? Do not assume Satanic Verses or some intellectual thingy, cause I found Peterpan. Yes, the good old Peterpan book, and surprisingly I found it in the Fiction section meant for Adults!

But tadaa! I may enjoy Shakespeare and Tagore, but Peterpan has its own charm. Coupled with the fact that I brought two books for 74 bucks ( Peterpan and one on Shakespeare), I think that the ban on expenditure can be loosened a bit.

:-) :-) :-) :-)

2007-03-23T00:02:00.000+05:30

Politics, Economics, Lies and Freakonomics
This is a picture of Delhi School of Economics, or what we call D-School in our college lingo. Aesthetic and with a 'certain intellectual ambience' that it may seem, d-School is a place through which I have undertaken several journeys, both literal and symbolic. I have some excessively beautiful and some ruthlessly painful memories from this place.

D-school is known for the 'variety' of crowd that it attracts. Apart from the students from the Delhi School of Economics and the Faculty of Management Studies, this shared campus is home to hundreds of migrant birds from colleges all across the North Campus everyday. It is here that me and my best friend (from college) started coming at the end of our first year, because some friends of hers (from other colleges) would come here. A lot of people who sat here were and still are pretentious. And no, am not judging. People, who would smoke to look cool and drag others to do the same. People who would not comb their hair to look carefree and hep. People who would come with a guitar instead of college books and gulp down cheap vodka shots infront of MH chicks.

It is here that I learnt to keep my mouth shut infront of people, who pretend to be friends. I understood, that not everyone is worthy enough to know what is happening in your life. Not everyone actually has the ability to understand what you are explaining. It is here that I lost my best friend to the D-school camaraderie. It is here that I made other friends. Who still call and bug me for details about my personal life. It is here that I had first howled when I realised that Nishant was cheating on me. And it is the last place that I had shrieked when Tanya had lied to me about her smoking.

But life has certainly moved on for me. I still see hundreds walking that same old D-school path that I hate so much. The existent routes never change. I have however changed directions.

Btw, the post is inspired from a lot of news coverage that FMS has been generating over some excellent placements. Also, had been remembering a lot of old stuff. Its a strange chain of thought.

2007-03-21T23:02:00.000+05:30

Celebrations and laughs

Turned 70 bylines old in the industry today. So, thought what would make a better post than the article itself. The write-up might not interest all, but it certainly marks my turning into a septuagenarian.

Nobility comes knocking

A Nobel Laureate in Physics, Georg Bednorz spoke to GARIMA SHARMA about the power of dreaming

We all live in an era, where time is the new cash. Wasting it on dreaming may well be considered a sin. But when someone with a Nobel Prize tucked under his belt advices you to dream as the ultimate way to success, it sure deserves consideration.

George Bednorz is a man with a purpose. He carries a twinkle in his eyes, a smile on his face and an attitude in his gait. He was recently in town through an initiative by IBM, to felicitate the winners of the ACM-ICPC contest. At the event, Bednorz held forth on some succinct and assured tips for success to the country’s technical reservoir. Bednorz aggressively advocated dreaming, quoting examples from history where scientists dreamed and achieved. He explained, “People constantly look for inspiration everywhere, but, you need inspiration only when you see a barrier. If you start dreaming, you prepare your mind to make an accident and then a discovery.”

Besides dreaming, Bednorz also has theories of equal simplicity worked out for deeper issues. We questioned him on the frustration of bound research and pat came the reply, “It is about getting inspired by the limits of technology and then one can find things relevant for tomorrow. This is the philosophy that leads to path breaking research.”

In 1987, Bednorz along with K. Alex Müller received the Nobel Prize in Physics for the discovery of high-Tc superconductivity in a new class of compounds. Post that, he accepts that his belief in dedication has increased manifold. He asserts that it is dedication that distinguishes the Indian youth and it is the responsibility of scientists like him to inspire them. For these youngsters refuse to accept pre-established norms. They go out and question the impossible- the ultimate attitude for conquering success.

Nobel thoughts, by a Nobel Laureate. It was time to sum up our petite rendezvous. And we did so by remembering George Bernard Shaw. He said, “People see things and ask why. I see things that are not and ask why not.”

***************************************

On this happy note, I thought I will close. But, there is something that I cannot resist sharing. I got a mail today, that talked about ways in which kids innovatively handled math problems. Forwarded with the mail was a message: Seems like this is how you too would respond.

Sharing weaknesses, especially mathematical, with your friends is the stupidest mistake to commit. I told a friend about the mail. He asked me to add 23 to 49. I fell silent. He laughed. I laughed. I know its 72.

However, on a cheery note, math can really be a torture. But kids sure know how to make it fun!!

2007-03-20T22:42:00.000+05:30

I see it this way

The Delhi Metro is not all about ha-ha episodes. Lesson learnt today: Most men, irrespective of caste, creed, race, colour or for that matter age, stare. And shamelessly at that.

Returning back to the good things in life.

I quite like The Little Magazine. Their content is different, they promote a lot of new and promising South-Asian writing, and they seem genuinely passionate about writing per se. This was once on their introductory page.."A blank page for us is a carte blanche to rip...". With this kind of a cummulative mindset working for the publication, every copy of the magazine, in my opinion, carries selected but tasteful stuff.

Decided to make a must-see movie list. To begin with...

Dreamgirls
Hannibal Rising
The Messengers
Pan's Labyrinth
The Graduate
Roman Holiday
The White Countess
The Seven Year Itch
Breakfast at Tiffany's
A Holiday Romance
La Vie est Belle...................................and i doze off

I knew that God is in the details. But, I realised that the Devil is in the finer ones. And people, especially those that you call friends, notice the details of the second kind. My profile these days in gtalk gives a statutory warning: Disturb at your own risk (followed with the status icon for busy). A friend decided to reason it out.

Friend: If you are busy and cannot talk, then why are you online. If you are online and can talk, then why are you threatening people with dire consequences.

Me: Elementary, my dear Watson. My boss is calling, shall talk to you later?

I see the world through these...

Thought for the day: Beauty is in the eye of the Beer holder

2007-03-19T22:49:00.000+05:30

One amongst many...

I thought I will sneak in a quick post, before the historical match (India, surprisingly has scored the highest world cup total) resumes.

Nothing much to share today. Learnt the origin of the word janitor. Realised that ancient Greek literature is sex and sleaze for many. And had someone explain to me how my mood graph is an abnormal sawtooth curve instead of the sinusoidal curve generated by normal people.

Origin @ Janitor: The modern day word janitor (used for the doorman), comes suprisingly from the Roman God Janus. In Roman mythology, Janus was the God of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings, and endings.

Ordinary day except that I realised that 'extraordinariness' is a noun used to describe quality. And it is difficult to find that quality in one's life everyday.

Sunlight dancing on the stairs.
In College.
Outside 26.
The Literature den.

Thought for every day: A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation

2007-03-17T23:07:00.000+05:30

Of words and happenings

But words are words; I never did yet hear
That the bruised heart was pierced through the ear

Shakespeare in Othello 1.3.216

Shakespeare according to me was a crafty writer. In spite of my professors explaining 'x', I end up seeing a lot of 'y' in what he wrote. That is why I think he is crafty; his words seek their identity from the reader, instead of Shakespeare spelling them explicitly. However, I vehemently disagree with this particular thought of Shakespeare.

It so happens...that in my excitement about my last copy (the last story that I gave to my editor) being cent per cent clean I share it with my colleague. In a fit of elderly guidance, she sets me a little test. When I finish my answer, she, (with words that are particularly sugar coated and piercing) explains the 5ws and 1H that I may not know about, since I have never been to journalism school.

Act2, Scene 2

Her: You have to conform to the rules that have been set. Journalistic pieces are written in a certain way. You cannot use your own ideas, even though they may seem logical
Me: But, should reason not follow acceptance
Her: Yes, but it is your inexperience speaking at the moment. You cannot make noises against the established systems
Me: But, the universe also started with a bang. Maybe my style will also become the norm.

Climax, Polite exchanges, Tea time, back to work.

Exeunt

Well, I was not looking to redefine definitions. Neither was I trying to rebel. I was just curious; about judgements and reviews. About how mentalities can create an impasse. About how a single question can change one's life forever.

P.S@ KBC: Nothing changed man!

Thought for the day:

Life's a bitch. So, be a dog.

2007-03-16T10:33:00.000+05:30

Endless Entries

It is actually true. I have loads of things to share. So, there will be loads of entries.

Statutory warning: Individual reflections. May not find flavour with everyone.

1) My astrologer said that I will start writing satire soon. I think he is a funny man.

2) I think the Delhi Metro is a wonderful thing to happen. Since, I take it every day, I have a bagful of experiences and observations to share. But, this in particular still tickles me. I was walking from the Barakhamba platform towards the stairs that go down to the Vishwidyalay platform. Suddenly, this surdie comes running out of nowhere and announcing, "..Hat jao-2..I have a metro to catch..rasta chodo..nahi toh accident ho jayega..."

P.S: E. Sreedharan has publically asked Delhites to behave in the Metro. Please pay heed.

3) Met a friend in the metro. At a point in time, we were very close. Then things went sour. And I assumed and maintained that things could never go back to the same level of comfort. We remained in touch but barely so. When I met him in the metro, things were different. I enjoyed being friends with him just like I had been in the days before. I enjoyed giggling on the silliest of things. Guess, not many people become special. If some do, trivial issues should not split them.

4) Co-incidences happen. And they make you smile. After I changed my metro at Kashmere Gate, I msged my friend how it had been nice to meet him. he had already sent me the same thing! And by this time, Max was already messaging me, on a different topic, that I could write a book called Con-incidence when i grow old.

5) You do not have to read about Greek tragedies only through Homer. Days on your own life can resemble one. Whereas I went home smiling due to the 'surdie-uncle-in-the-metro', my day had started on a cheery note, gone on to a hurt one, culminated ultimately in the sourest of ones in office and finally ended on a cheery one!

6) Close friends need 'personal space'. A concept still lost on me, after hours of deliberating with them amongst much yelling, fist using, punches and expletives.

7) In spite of all this, I still enjoy the moments spent with them. when the monkey peed on Max, when jigyz, pragya, max and mervs would not let me capture the beautiful leaf in Law Fac.

Leafing alone thrugh life....

2007-03-15T11:28:00.000+05:30

Jokes apart

Days should begin on a cheerful note. Mine did.

Read this on a friend's orkut profile.

Name: Mervyn Samuel George
State: Solid

:-)

Me, Mervs and max

2007-03-14T17:03:00.000+05:30

The coy and the dangerous. And I hate them...

In life, well in office life at least, you will find three basic types of people. The first type are the ones who help you and might eventually become your friends (mind you, this species may very well go up the extinct list). The second are those that are trying to screw you. And the third ones are those that screw your happiness.

Today, a colleague of mine, suddenly made the transition from the first to the third category. In a few seconds, in a spate of words. And obviously, in a rush of sour vibes and hurt feelings. Not hers, but mine.

People think or at least assume that if you are good to them, they can walk all over you. Why do people need to push a peer down to escalate themselves? It is quite surprising actually how colleagues peep, prod and inquire into every little sound and scene that happens in my life.

We might share the same cubicle honey, but that is where it stops.

My boss is raisng her pitch. She is still in the first category. Lets wait for the transition.

Off for another few hours of 'word'ly wars...

2007-03-14T01:11:00.000+05:30

Closed lashes hide a world
Of turmoil, of images and flashing memories
Of joyous celebrations and of hidden dreams.
In a moment, when the lid is snapped shut
colours and visuals vanish in a cave of darkness
Only to be replaced by swirls of color,
Of turmoil, of images and flashing memories
Of joyous celebrations and hidden dreams.

Interesting thought: Order is for idiots, geniuses can handle chaos.

2006-10-05T16:55:00.001+05:30

In a very pensive mood. Though of writing a poem. Here is the fruit of my labour.

Screech

If life’s a rolling wheel,
And smooth be its function
Then why this screech that we encounter
On every decisive junction
Maybe I m pushing too hard,
Or maybe the wheel’s too splintered
Are excuses going to suffice?
Well, my journey is most certainly hindered.
Push as I might, some stone becomes a jerk
Pushes me to think, and rest while I ponder
But of course, thinking is wasting,
Precious time that there is,
The wheel is dysfunctional,
And all opportunities amiss,
Wistful thinking now,
I wish my life wasn’t a wheel.

2006-10-03T15:50:00.000+05:30

SARVANNA TO KAKE

Once the festive fervour begins in Delhi, it seems almost sinlike to not participate in the buzz of the season. Hiding behind the same cultural ritual, I finally forced my family for a weekend of fun, frollic and cuisine tasting. Dressed up and ready-to-party as the cliche' goes, we excitedly began our journey to the famous kali-badi durga pandal at Mandir marg. Being a compulsive Punjabi has its own merits, but, being a self-acclaimed foodie has a diffrent charm altogether. So, with a new vow to discover at least the multi-cultural food-offerings in Delhi, I decided to start my festive season with bangla food. But, to much of my dismay and my mother's delight, the pandal had been packed long before we had even formulated the plan.

So, what to do now?

"Let's go to the new Sarvanna Bhavan in Karol Bagh," suggested my extremely adventurous brother. Well, to sum the South Indian food binge in short, I was famished, even after a full dosai( as reads the menu). However, to see the critical rating of the place, read the next post.

Well, so after a very disappointing start to my so-called 'cuisine adventure', my brother mockingly asked me, whether I wanted to seal the night with a propah Punjabi feast. So, wham, bam, we arrived at a packed Kake da Dhaba in Connaught Place.

"Quite the average Punjabi eatery, it is the psychological pretense of its goodness that attracts the hordes to this place," commented my mother, a seasoned cook, who will go to any lengths to avoid 'bahar ka dirty khana'. Well, but, as we devils (my bro and me), sat down to our Butter Chicken, seasoned with my mother's disapproving scowls, the air in the small eatery got thicker with the smoke from the tandoor. And with our table just next to the kitchen, it is needless to portray in words the various shades of colors that my mother's expressions underwent.

But, as we took a walk around Connaught Place after our dinner, the extremeity of our eating adventure coudln't help but tickle us a bit. Quite the North to South trail.

Well, in under 250 bucks, that's not a bad deal, bhape, is it?

2006-08-29T23:13:00.000+05:30

TRAP TARGET

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Yes, we agree. But, what happens if the tough try to go, but the going gets tougher, almost impossible? Before you loose yourself in this tangle of words, let us rescue you, from the Lucifer in your lives. Every employee, irrespective of his/her educational caste, creed, breed or race, has felt trapped in a demanding situation at work, at some point or the other in his/her life. Whether the trap was set up or incidentally placed, we have suffered considerably, probably, enough also to set us back a notch or two.
With careers becoming more demanding than mom-in-laws, studies have revealed the various anxieties that hamper an individuals work potential. To avoid these anxieties, as experts point out, we need to take a deep look at their root cause: traps at work, that run havoc with our emotions and consequently with our job.

The oddball

We have encountered several people who believed that no opportunity should be left unutilised. Sure. But, if the opportunity does not suit you? Believes Atul Arora, an unemployed professional at the moment, “I took a job which did not suit my job profile at all, because I was afraid that no opportunity would come my way. Moreover, the fear of being jobless and consequently becoming the target of my friends’ mockery convinced me to take this job.” But, a few weeks into the job, and Atul realised his mistake. Not being able to perform to their potential and emotional stress are a few symptoms, of a particular job not suitable for you. Does yours too?

In a constant

Even if we manage to find the perfect job, our career graph may not always be a pleasant visual. Believes Sudarshan Rajgopalan, an employee with Hewlett-Packward Globalsoft Ltd., “At times, employees sink into depression or a state of half-baked functioning because they don’t see their career heading anywhere. Such a constant level, or impasse’ can greatly dampen the working skills of a professional.” In such matters, believes Kathie Elster, a renowned Harvard trained psychotherapist, “It is important that you chart out your career goal specifics with your boss. Such a plan helps both of you get the maximum out of your synergy.”

Been victimised?

Unfortunately, a vast majority of the employee population agree in total, of being in this category of job-traps. The trap may have been courtesy your senior, junior or colleague, but it affects the entire work-process laterally. The natural reaction is to get frustrated or doing vent outs through backbiting. But, this is not the appropriate solution. Employees should make the effort to become more responsible, and steer their own actions. On the other hand, managers can assure that a culture of harmony and self-duty entails in the office.

Tired of traps

Burn out or energy drainage is the latest virus to affect employees and businesses. With demanding hours and excessive workloads taking their toll, employees are languishing the once available, simple joys of a simple life. Believes Rajgopalan, “Increasing employee burn-out rates are affecting companies adversely. To ensure that the phenomenon is nipped in the bud, necessary efforts must be initiated.”
Reacting to the same, many companies have introduced tools to help the employees remain refreshed. Whereas major IT companies are focussing on the dietary and fitness habits of their employees, many have introduced health bars at their premises. Some have even gone ahead and created stress-bursting zones.
With both the employee and the employer, finding innovative ways to ward off traps, it is time, we must first recognise the initiation of such traps. After all, as granny always said, a stitch in time, saves nine!

2006-08-29T23:10:00.000+05:30

OF BLOGS AND GROUPS

Yes, the mundane title soundly describes the focus of our story. But before you cast your eyes elsewhere, we should just let the parallel centre of the story slip in. With the advent of blogs some half a decade ago, people found releasing outlets of their thoughts. But, with technological advancements shrieking optimisation, today, blogs have turned into personalised grounds for information exchange. We went sleuthing around, and poked our noses in all sorts of Internet consortiums, to bring to you blogs that talk about jobs, work experiences and solutions.

CareerBuilder Work-Life job blog

With archives available since November 2005, the blog boasts of numerous posts to help you in your place of work. The categories of discussion go on and on from books, retirement planning to jobs, employment trends to surveys. Also available are links to other web portals, placed appropriately to help you discuss every work- related query. The blog has recently entered into a contract with an employee, for tabbing his work-life in their online job-journal. This blog contains entries from the life of this anonymous employee, who publishes his job experiences on a daily basis for you to evaluate, judge and perhaps learn. The blog, is one famous work-bi#$h!
http://careerbuilder.typepad.com/job_blog_jobs/job_seeker_journal/

The Monster blog

As a small offshoot of monster.com, the career-advice sector of the website, deals with issues related to work zones. When, deliberating on furthering their avenues to help prospective and current employees, the team came up with the idea of forming the Monster blog. The blog gets posts from professionals involved in all walks of professional activities, and also from job seekers sharing their woes. This group discusses both the terrific and the terrible aspects of a job, on a blog that they deemed functional on an array of free-form writing.
http://monster.typepad.com/monsterblog/2006/04/is_your_job_kil.html

Chetana jobs group

A group hosted on yahoo’s server, Chetana (consciousness) jobs group, hosts jobs for freshers, experienced as well as professional aspirants. A public visibility group, Chetana is inclusive of a whooping number of 232061 members! The blog lists openings in various fields and categorically displayed for various qualification requirements. Till date, 40,000 people have been able to secure jobs, courtesy Chetana.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CHETANA-JOBS/

This is just a peek in the closet. To see the wardrobe, log on. Happy typing!

2006-08-16T01:53:00.000+05:30

THE NEO CLASSICAL REBEL- confessions of a beautiful mind

With snapshot, hit-you-in-the-gut movies like Rang de Basanti and Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi hitting the right spot with the youth, wisps of change are howling themselves hoarse for a revolution. Complex and highly exaggerated as it sounds, today’s youth stands tall and distinct, a tad different from the young and the restless of yesteryears. For them, rebellion does not mean outright violence. But it does mean letting the other side know your strength, without resorting to logic less, stoical display of power. For these very people, the Independence Day is just not a gazetted holiday; it is a day to reckon and revaluate the legacy of ideas that we have been carrying on for the past 59 years.

Students today, understand and accept their role as future citizens with surprising maturity. One quick, crude survey and you are surprised at the unanimous conclusions that these students reach at. Being a rebel today, is not synonymous with being a gypsy, neither does saying kewl make you any cooler. This generation knows where to pull the plugs, and where to let the water flow.

Believes Pragya, a student of History at Hindu College, “All I can say is that freedom is not free. And according to me, India isn’t free yet. It is still bounded by the shackles of the caste system. What are forefathers fought so passionately for, it is our duty to sustain and propagate.” For students today, Independence doesn’t simply imply the end of imperialism. To push its meaning beyond linguistic parameters, independence for the youth today means a collective nation, free from the claws of decadence. Elucidates Vaibhav Bhatnagar, a student of Ramjas College, “India will be independent when the disease of corruption will be eradicated. When I won’t have to pay bribe to get a phone connection or when I won’t have to please t eh cops to get passport clearance.”

Of course, the issues are endless. From an undignified response to the RTI act to a stinking bureaucracy, these young rebels have solutions for every problem on the platter. But as Mervin Samuel George summarises it all with a pint of dejection, “These politicians disregard us, asking us for degrees to run the nation, when they themselves cannot differentiate between balloons and condoms.”

With many obstacles in the way, true freedom appears a distant dream. But on a brighter note, it seems that Independence has newer representatives.

2006-08-15T14:30:00.000+05:30

CHARM OF A LITERATURE CLASS

In a literature class, there would always be some people who have chosen this area of study for the sheer high that they get out of understanding the real essence of literature. Whilst these guys seem part pretentious and part intellectual, there are also others who have come to do this course in the hope of doing their graduation with a simple course!!

But, fortunately and unfortunately(to be implied in their respective sequence), both these groups of students are subject to the much expected hyper-active, frenzied and at times, sensibly sombre batch of literure teachers. Ready to paint a beautiful landscape of words at any potential moment, this particular species can make any rainy day seem like a renaissance theme. The other day, while trying to be more than a physical presence and not a dwindling spirit in my class, I tried hard to concentrate on the lecture being given on strength in feminist writings. Suddenly, a roar of thunder diverted everyone's attention to the sky, that had become thereateningly overcast with murky, grey clowds. And the professor, suddenly jumped up and infront of the window. "What an amazing scene. My God wish I had my camera today. Perfect for an eclectic picture of a female, with the winds blowing high trying to tear the sky apart. What representation of female strength!" Though the comment came as nothing but a much expected antic from the professor, it jerked many out of their stupor to push them an even a deeper one.

While for the pretentious hyphen intellectual ones, it was another thread of thought to think, dissect, pen and read.

2006-08-08T06:28:00.000+05:30

INDEPENDENCE IN 3 MINUTES

The United Kingdom in association with the Indian documentary fil industries are inviting proposals for a 3 minute documentary on the theme of independence. If selected they will receive support and advice in pitching and producing the short film which will further be broadcasted in India and UK.